if only...

set my alarm to wake up at 0630 today, laze in bed till about 0650, bathe and saw my clock in the living room, it is alr 0715. [the clock was 5 min earlier. my mum purposely put 5 min earlier, remind me not to be late. haha...] intially, wanting to rush out, for breakfast which start at 0800, looking at the time now, thus i choose to eat my breakfast at home, and go for my lesson which start at 0830.

it was a good choice. i could relax, sitting on the chair eating the nice cereal biscuit. i ate 2 packets. yummy... thinking, hey, it is the same time 0830. i thought that i saw the wrong timing, and keep looking at the time n calculating... yes, is the same timing which i start work everyday. but, the thing is that, although the two thing start at the same time, the feeling is really different. thinking, could i also be like that everyday/ sitting down here , relaxing, to eat my biscuit/ haha... i hope... i could make an effort to be this relax everyday.

years ago... i have the surge of wanting teaching as a career... years back, i tried and went for the interview, was not being selected. the one that i applied was the ntu course, degree course, reason given is that there are others ahead of you in term of academic merit. since then, i had not been thinking abt it... only once in a while is would think of it again...

that time, felt that i don not have the quality to be a teacher, as it required long term to speak loudly and english language must be very powerful. but, i cant, also, i do not really have condifent that i could handle the stress... thinking, i could slowly train myself in these 2 areas... i could watch tv news to train my english.. and.. blar blar... till now, i felt i still don have these qualities... haha...

once in a blue moon, things would strike the thought in me, teacher as a career again... hmmp... things holding me back also. unless, i have the qualities, prehaps then, i would move all forward for this goal. recently, like quite a few, asked me abt this... n i do not have a definite answer for this. perhaps, one day i would have my own thinkings n character, thus i would have a definite answer.

saturday

it is nice that, today is saturday. i thought that i would wake up late today, as i cant really get to sleep yesterday night, thinking about the things that i encountered, both graces and some work stuffs... slowly digesting the stuffs that i had encountered...

wake up today at about 625am, went to toliet and heard my sms tone... my friend sms in the morning. haha... so early in the morning. later laze in bed cant get to sleep... thinking, so early wake up on saturday, thinkin abt the things that i can do later. surprisely, i manage to get to sleep again after a short while.

yesterday, did not went ktv, as the response was not good. went running instead. was a nice one... that i can sweat off the unseen stress... but my counting was bad, cant managed to keep track how many rounds i had ran. after that, sit down n chat with emi n i forgot if i had do stretching jus now/

thanks to all, who hear my grumbles. haha... kind of tired, to hear myself saying n grumbling again... i hope to have less grumbles... the are a lot of happy things that i can be thankful. learning to accept all things that come my way.

e days past by fast...

so fast, 2day is the wednesday le... every morning, drag myself to work... thanks to the emails chatting that i had with my cousin everyday that kept me going... 2day, then i realise that to do something different or, something that we like, really brighten up the days...

thinking of a change, thus, i make lipton tea, instead of my normal cereal for breaksfast... with the lipton tea, i ate my curry bread that i bought yesterday... like *magic*, slowly, i felt happier bit by bit... haha... only that i put too much creamer in my tea, n the taste is eeeeee..... thinking of my potato chips, to help me neutralize the taste, but i did not bring it to work...

my collleague asked me, u don like u still finished it? haha.. yap, i still finished it. haha... this is me, not nice, i would still 'taste' it, that i believe that things would turn better soon... till to the extend that i felt really 'drain' n no more hope, then i would give up... one bitter situation encountred would mean one less of this situation for us to go thr...

i was silent at times... thinking abt the times in office... sometimes i really don noe how i managed to live thr these 7 months... haha... can become superwoman alr ah... [GDLR] communication is really so hard ma? haha... i don noe... at time hot, at time cold... 3 more months, and my contract is ending... 2 weeks later, in sept, then maybe i would decide how... maybe start looking for job?

plus plus, minus minus balance up le. 2 say, i am still the fortunate gal. working over there, recently i got a new laptop. =] n that i can go to the pantry to take biscuits and drinks... and i got a spacious desk. these are all the joys. =] thanks to my manager who really take care of me. also, i got my cousin to have lunch with, while she is working temp at that area. =]

i always like studying life to working life. but now, i no longer wish to go back to my old memories... of how fun study life can be, with friends around you. now, i want to find the happiness and joy that i can have in work life. =]

Touched =']

Suddenly, a childhood memory strike me...

When I was young, in primary school, my big cousin used to give us tuition at grandmother's house. Once, she said, if we could get good grades for our examinations, she would bring us to camping... We all were so happy, as it is very fun!

That day I was very worried, as I failed my Maths test. Thinking about the camping n looking at my Maths result, I am so worried and sad. The other cousins was making fun, ohh... U cannot go alr... me thinking, maybe my big cousin is just saying only, I can still go for this camping, as it is jus a test, not examination.

When my 5th auntie and big cousin came back from work, I dare not tell her also... Till quite late, i also forgot is me tell her or how she get to know. She scolded me, and I cried, as she is very fierce, saying that, me cannot go camping... I cried... and went out of the room.

While everybody is sleeping, I was crying outside, in the living room, Sitting down,with my back lying infront of the alter. All the lights are alr switched off... My grandmother was angry and scolded, y so late alr, still scold me and make me cry...

Later, my other cousin came out, and asked me don't cry anymore... If cannot go camping, we don go together... When I recalled this, I felt so touched. Primary school only, yet, we have such nice thoughts...

Now, when would I even hear this sentence again?

please bear with the music while we bring shopping centre to new heights

ktv session

yesterday, went ktv. it had been months since i last stepped into the ktv room. jus nice, next friday, i am going to ktv with my colleagues, can take this chance to learn the new songs that my friends sing... else, new songs all don noe how to sing... happily, listening to them when they sang jj's song.

there are a lot of ppl there at orchard area... at centre point there, the security guard was directing the traffic. tough job ah, to see them shouting at time, 'stop', 'stop', but guess the person might not hear also... when i am leaving the place, saw that there are more security guards helping out... don noe if there are any activities going on, or it is like that during weekend time... saw the picture about the shopping renovation, was impressed by their creative thinking...

at ktv, nice time... i can sing to relax myself... for the drinks, there is bubble tea! was so happy... want to order bubble tea with perals... but, later to realise that for the pearls, we had to wait for 1 hr, as they are cooking it now, run out of stock... haha.... in the end, drank almond milk bubble tea. but still, very good le. =]

bookmark, made in thailand

close up look... so cute...

in my stationery holder

things that brighten up my day

hey, when i saw this souvenir, it really brighten up my day. the doll is just too cute. then i realise that i got another one at home... is given by my other friend when she went thailand last time. i put them in my stationery holder side by side.

sometime, when i suddendly saw them... it brighten up my day... haha... guess i am sensitive to all these cute, sweet things... effect is that i would get happy... haha... maybe can consider bringing them to my office, thus i can be happy always..

His Birthday Present

Say Cheese

JY Birthday Party

superstar's result

that day thursday, i really stayed up late to watch the result.

for gals one, i don watch their performance everytime, but while i was watching their singing previews, find that xinhui do sing well... she is brave when she heard of the result.

kind of sad when c that jun yang is not the perosn with the highest votes... he really sing well... lucky, i am alr mentally prepared... did not get in, maybe later there are some better things coming for him... =]

Magnets - nice colours.

wow... a whole row of Merlion. I love them...

Cutie Merlion. I love it.

The island of fun.

Hey, it's a ladybird.

Beautiful Peacock

Emi - Welcome to Coffee Bean.

Sentosa - cheers

Merlion, standing tall. =]

Artists Village -- I like the logo. Do they want to recurit ppl... haha..

Hey, there is a snail.

Sentosa again... haha... -- Dinosaurs Museum. But, we nv went in.

is a great week

Monday
went shopping with my pal. haha... we had a great chat abt friends... then abt the past beautiful moments... she enlighten me ah. true hor, all memories though happy, r alr past, what can u do/ really past. was there grumbling again abt my encounters now, haha... i don wish to, but... jus need a listening ear. thanks for listening n assuring me. ='] xm, let strive to make our days beautiful, thus we will have more beautiful memories.

Tuesday
National Day, a day off from work. intially planned for roller blade, but friends cant make it, later planned to go Haw Par Villa for photo session, later, a change of mind, went Sentosa for photos... had a great time, touring the place n took quite a lot of photographs. jus 3 dollars, is quite worth it. night time, we sat at coffee beam, waiting for the fireworks from padding. i was busy taking photos of the fireworks, but all photos are spoil. i onli manage to catch a few glance of it. sob sob sob...
i learnt something... some beautiful things, we try hard to catch hold of them, but at times, we tried so hard that we forogt to enjoy it thus, in the end, we missed it.

Wednesday
This is a happy day. =] my lap top came... happy happy happy... the lap top is comapct n light weight, with the lcd screen, everything looked so nice. haha... n i was there smiling the whole day, bcos... haha... my cousin noe why. sweet moments... but, when we say bye, i noe that is the end of my happy moment to enjoy. yap, jus something to add colours to my days.
**********************************************************************************
evening time, went running with emi. finally, that i went running. it had been a long long time. managed to completed 6 runs. i sweat a lot after the run, n my face was burning hot, but this feeling was nice. while running, saw a guy there measuring the distance at the track from his spinning off device... ran 2 round le, he was still there measuring...
sometimes, we really planned too much le that, we took a lot of time, thinking, planning abt it, that prehaps, another person had alr done something, we r still there planning/ just a penny for thought.

Thursday
my cousin came n meet me for lunch. =] =] ='] happily chatting, but, again, i grumble... cos, when coming out, encounter it again. desipte that, i am still in happy mood of yesterday. when sad, thinking abt yesterday make me smile. haha... yap, to say, that is just something to deviate my attention to make my days beautiful.
planned to visit my friend at orchard, but got to rush a report, thus, nv go.

Friday
took half day leave, went back to my previous workplace, the place that i worked for 3 months 2 years back. was happy... to see the familiar faces... we were there chatting... always wish to go back to visit them, now that i had the chance le. thanks to my friend ah, that she need to do a project, thus i got this chance to go back. the place looked much nicer now. beautiful memories kept flashing in my mind... =]
once again, did not visit my friend at orchard. sorry gal, i will go maybe next next week.

Saturday
wake up early today. felt kind of moody... guess, this feeling is accumlated from the encounters... but, while i recall back the week, it adds joys to my days... i got magnazine 2 read... n that i can enjoy this day peacefully at home. i hope to have less grumbles... n paint more colours to my everyday life.

Reach Out For the Skies

Composed by: Elaine Chan Lyrics by: Selena Tan Arranged by: Joshua Wan

At a time when hope was low
The journey seems unsureBut through it all
We’ve kept the flame alive
Now standing proud and tall
Our spirit strong and freeBuilding on hopes and dreams
It’s here we want to be

*Let’s reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we’ll all achieve
We’ll make our destiny

Let’s reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we’ll all achieve
Let’s soar and reach for the skies*

When I think about my dreams
The future it can be
The time has come for me
To strive and to achieve
With hopes within our hearts
As one hand in handFor family and our friends
Let’s do the best we can

*Let’s reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we’ll all achieve
We’ll make our destiny

Let’s reach out for the skies
With wings we soar up high
Our dreams we’ll all achieve
Let’s soar and reach for the skies*

Our dreams we’ll all achieve
Let’s soar and reach for the skies
We can touch the skies

a visit to the doctor

in the morning, happily, i packed my sport stuffs, left the hse early, to break my record of reaching the office early. haha... i really left the hse early, n took the mrt train which is going directly to pasir ris. really, really... but, i was late by 5 min, as halfway there this some problem with the train that it stop at don noe what stop, i forgot le, for a while... haha... wat to say ne/ tom, i ganbate again, or tom i will visit the doctor again/

[my shift key is not working, both shift key, thus i gave up alr... n type all in small letter... the funny sign is those symbol, which required to press shift one...]

in the noon, it was rainning, i hope for it not to rain... after lunch, i was feeling more n more uncomfortable... feeling very cold, and comfortable, like very men1 feeling... i thought that there was somethin wrong with me le... later saw my big boss, he also felt very cold, then confirm le, i am normal, is the air-con too cold le.

haha... my big boss just came back from oversea-- malaysia. see him back in the office, very happy, as he is like the kai1 xin1 guo3, always funnuy n laugh one. though at times is stren. haha... my manger, went for checkup, for his back bone... he say maybe is too stress le... hope that things will be fine...

after work, i think, i still can, still can run, happily call emily... but while walking to the mrt, my head is getting heavier n heavier... i noe cannot alr... thus, cancel the run with her. lucky that calvin is there running together with her... thanks god. i found a seat in the mrt at city hall.. and i slept all the way to jurong east. really cannot make it, headache...

those who noe me, would noe, i am the person who would not go to the doctor, unless unless.. i felt that it is really necessary... else, i would just go home, take a nap, drink my herbal tea, n later would be okie le. but this time round, cannot, really need to visit the doctor. was there planning for my day tom after i take the mc, what am i going to do/ haha...

it was a long way to the sensih... my head felt pain for every step that i took... n i hurried up. along the way, saw 2 playground, the children were there playing happily. it is a great feeling to see a child together with both or one of his parents, or close kin there. i am happy. =]

was at the clinic waiting for my turn. to my surprise, i was 2 boy, they noe each other at the clinic there, n there came along to visit the doctor. wow... they are there happily chatting... later the other boy went in, this boy went to take his medicine, n asked about the chinese medicine. the lady there, told him, if u want, u can come here n help out, every week once, to learn more...

cute boy, he replied if i have the timei would maybe come... haha... and he left by himself. later saw a family, a mother, son n father. both of them, i don noe who are sick, thus, togther they came. headache, thus, i just sit down ther, looking around, staring at the fish tanks.

the fish in the fish tank is also very cute. there is the bubble thingy, where it come out from the tube. the fish jus swam toward that n is being push up by the bubble... later the small fish swam again. some fishes experience that alr, but they still swim to it... the action is very cute, thus, i laugh, n there staring at the fish tank.

n is my turn... told the doctor what is wrong... doctor say that i am too heaty le... i asked if there is mc here/ as is a chinese clinic, i don noe if got ma/ later the doctor, measure my temperature, saying that i have no fever, cannot give MC. haha... this is the first time that i ask for MC, but was not given. last time, nv ask, the doctor, would automatically give me or ask me...

but, i must say that this doctor, he is a good doctor... does not any how give ppl MC when we asked for it... i don noe leh... how to determine if i am serious or not/ came back home, no wei4 kou2, head still very heavy n headache... doc say if there is fever, tom go back to find him, he would give me a MC, ask me go back home, eat light n rest.

here, i am typing my blog... as waiting for super star... the how is starting now. later after that, going to bed... no more 2200, channel U show for me today...

i hope to get soon... maybe see Jun Yang sing, i would recover/ hahaha...

Tuesday

In the morning, I was feeling real down... hmmp... hmmp... staring at the computer, sending emails to my cousin... haha... we both same feeling... Tuesday blues sia/ Thinking of walking to Concourse for lunch... haha... later, did not go, as it rainned heavily outside at abt 11 something. during lunchtime asked my colleague n went Fu Lu Shou for lunch.

Something different1 Saw Zh1 Hou4 Ren4. When I was young, once, donnoe y, I dreamt of him... Now got the chance to see him. He really aged... When I heard my colleague saying that he is old now, I felt sadden... Don noe why, now, when I heard who had grown old, I felt sad... Perhaps, I am scard of the realistic true...

Later, another person came. Zheng4 Xiu4 Zhen1 came. Wow.... Saw her... She looked young n pretty. Haha... Something different to add on colour to my moody days...

my mood become better when the time is reaching 1930. Haha... too realistic le ba... but, I cant help it... Okie, I try, I try, cannot be so bad... must try to enjoy the working days... I will try.

Think, it is time to change my keyboard. The shift button cannot work n I had a hard time typing this entry...

Another thing to look forward to; Tomorrow going for run1 Really long time no exerice1 Finally, tom going. Hope that it will be a sunny evening. I really need to exercise to feel more energetic. hahaha.. I need to move, run, jump...