Everyday is a new beginning: February 2006

Brainstorming...

While watching Campus Superstar, I was there brainstorming of what are the things that made me happy and those that made me sad while in office... Felt that I cannot be like that everyday... most of the time hoping for off work, or with all sort of emotions, tired, sad, no strength... etc. There is nothing to motivate me... but just to let the time past hour by hour in the office.

The first thing that I wrote is one thing that made me sad... Tired hard to brainstorm of more things... Finally, managed to have a tie, with 6 happy things n 6 sad things... Looking at my list, the happy things are still not strong enough to motivate me... Really tired hard to search for one very strong happy factor that contribute to my sunny day in office... but still cant think of any...

Wat to do? I need some motivating force to make my days sunny and with energy...

2day one of my colleague feedback that I looked old... Probe her to tell me more... She said is overall looked old... Ask the other colleague, she say that is my thinking that is Mature... hmmp hmmp...

Jus now from the 2100 show on Channel 8, heard an inspiration pharse: If you run away from it, you would nv grow... Is saying that if we run away from tough moments that we do not wish to face, we would not grow/learn... True enough... Must really have the courage n determination to strongly believe in urself... that we could overcome it...

Tired days...

This was the frist time eversince CNY that I felt happy to go home after work... Other days, if I worked late till about 1800++, on the way back home, in my mind I would still be thinking about work... These days, after work I would be feeling so tired...

That day, don noe which day, suddenly "ding", I felt that I cant be so obsessed with work, that I felt I should do something about it... @ times, work or things that happened made me tired, very tired, real tired... that it triggered my mind "ding..." and suddendly I realise something... it should not be the way...

If only here rushing with work, I would just be blindly rushing onli... but it would not increase my effectively... It would be better to take a break, to the toliet, or to the pantry, or for some chat and to continue with work again... Would felt more refresh... N work life, was not just mainly for work, else the days weems really dull... there need to be some laughers...

One reason that I realised why I am here and with the different colleagues around... It was for me to learn something from them... Like AT, she was alway say "Don worry..." She worked, but joked and take things lightly and laughed at the stuffs... Sometimes her laughters brighten up my days...

Felt the urge to do something differnt from the normal working days... Felt like taking up a degree course to learn something different... Was day dreaming about it... Day dreaming about going oversea for further study... if my company would send me oversea for study... or for full time study, but would still wan me as part of them after I graduate, won't that be great?

Full time study, no income and this would mean that 70%, I would really need to bid goodbye to my company... Chances that I would come back to this company after I graduated would be slim... as there would no have any place for me then... Part time study would be kind of stressful, and I cant really enjoy it...

I hope to do something and at the same time, enjoy what I am doing... and not just for the sake of doing it... typical ah me... In the first place, I might not get the place in unvi, as my results are jus so-so... average... Also, I would need to think about the school fee...

Jus now made a trip to the doctor once again... This time I am not sick, jus that there was some pain at the left hand side of my body... Was kind of worried... The doctor advised that it might be due to my weak waist that was causing the pain... Need more rest, more exercise, more fruits and vegetables...

Looking at my record, this was the don noe how many times that he said I am still young... He felt that I am still young, must take care of body... else, if old, how? I also felt so... I want to have a healthy body even when I am old... Thus, i could carefreely at my own pace doing the things that I like...

Saturday - 11/02/2006

Went for a concert at Esplanade with HC - SCO goes POP. @ about 1910 we were still having our dinner at Marina Square... Rushed to Esplanade for the concert at 1930. Lucky that we could still make it in time for enterance.

There was a small TV outside, guess that was for the late comers... Realised that late comers could only enter during break time... This was the first time that I attended a CO concert... Was quite surprise to see some family together attending this concert. There was quie a lot of teenagers as well...

The concert last for abt 2hr++ from 1930 to 2200. I like it when Cai4 Chun3 Jia1 sung with the CO and Choir team. In total 150+ ppl... actually, it was not that easy... A lot of coordination was needed... When the concert end, out Esplanade, there were still a lot of ppl... A live Drum performance was going on...

We headed to he2 pan4 for photos... Surprisely... there were quite a lot of ppl there as well... Felt happy that at this hr, I am still feeling refresh... Without the burden of work, the feeling was great. Bought ice-kachung.. The cup was nice. Took them home with me... When we were going off, I bought a necklane. =] Something that I was loooking for.. nice~

Lu with los of yuan1 bao3

Fu in Lotus Flower

Shuo with the peaches

Xi wih fire crackers

Was stunned for many moment...

Reached office at 0834, same time as yesterday... From then, I was busy with my work... With a few mouse click, it was 0930... Phew~ that was super fast... I was there trying to catch up with time, to reply emails, to clear pending stuffs and to reply my sms... Felt that these days, I missed out quite a number of reply on sms or email. Thinking... am I really so busy? Or I am not efficient enough?

Morning time was still okie... Was busy with normal suffs... Email came in rushing for data, and doubts asked by user, me checking the data as extracted etc... Is after lunch that I was maintaining my cool... Cooling weather outside which was raining heavily... but inside me, I was suppressing my temper n maintaining my cool...

Data needed... me rushing for my own reports... This data deadline is today... asking me if given me this task to do, how long I need? Direct her to my manager who was away from office... Later the ball bounched back here again... Her boss came to find me n shouted for her at my desk... Phew~ As I was too busy, did not think too much abt that...

Ex-manager came to know about it.. and came over to me saying he had came to my rescue le... Thanks to him that at least somebody noe about my ku3 chu4. Thanks to my manager for her understanding as well... when they are urgently looking for her and I sms her... that she called back later...

I don noe... I really don noe how... I dislike dis-harmony n did not wish to see dis-harmony... I was stunned for a moment regarding the situation jus now... I don noe if that suppose to be my responsibility? I could say that I had improved a little... Which was standing firm when her boss came find me... but... sad that this might lead to dis-harmony?

While working here, I find that I learnt to maintain my cool in time of panic and to think in a different angle, thus finding new ways to solve a problem. And alos many other things that I had experience and to grow along with it...

@ times, I really wonder... after working hours, I might still be working on my laptop... I don noe is it that I am real slow, or is it that I don have a proper turnover time for myself, but is always rushing n rushing... When is working hr, when is my own resting hours/personal time? Like they had alr merge into one long time ago...

My sandals got heavier n heavier during the evening... When I walked, the knock knock sound get louder n louder... Saw that one side of the sandal was a bit torn... Thought that this would be the last time that I would wear it and I will throw them away after that...

Who knows... in the big rain, outside the office, it gave way... OMG. So liang2 pei4! One foot with sandal, the other foot on the wet ground... quickly squat down to pick the torn sandal along with me, by the wet seats outside... Some ppl actually saw my liang1 bei4 situation... Stunned for another moment... thinking, how? Tired calling... but could not get thr the numbers to seek for help.

Cannot walked back to the office, cannot walked to the mrt, was stuck here... carrying my bag and the laptop bag, with the big umbrella, caught in the rain... Tired to push the torn part back to the sole and walked... Happily, I could walk a few steps, but it came off again.. Hurried back to the place that I was standing... else ppl really would noe...

Used my tie hair rubber band to tie the broken strap to the sole... Managed to walk to the traffic light... but was stuck there again... I cant cross the road... the sandal sure to give way again... the rubber band was not firm enough... standing there helplessly at the traffic junction... Called TA, bu the call was rejected by her... Later to call TangJ.

Later another colleague called back and I asked her for TA office number... Realise that there is no more credit for TA's HP, that the call was being rejected. Suddendly rem that I kept my sport shoe in my drawer, thus, seek her help to take it to me... Was really gald when I saw her... that I finally managed to seek help... TangJ also came at this time...

Thanks to them for standing there, blocking my ugly look of changing shoes from the passers-by. Thanks to Xm for suggesting sport, thus the sport shoes were there in my officec, which save my day... From middle rain, 1830 when I left the office to 1730 small rain when I changed my shoes... I felt really helpless...

Feeling not too good...

It had been a long time since I felt like this... Was not feeling too good... Kind of tired, kind of down... I also don noe the exact reason why...

Planned to have a game of badminton with XM after work, but did not manage to book any court. I was gald that it rained in the noon, I was feeling quite tired that time... thus, we could push it to another day...

Intially, felt it was nice for a game after work, in the noon, felt kind of tired... I felt like canceling the activity in the evening, but did not want to disappoint XM, thus went ahead with the idea... Later after some sms, and e rain was still there, we decided to push it to another day...

This is my bad habit... always there hestiating and is not truthful to my own emotions that somehow I felt that many times, unknowningly cause some bu4 fang1 pian4 or troubles to the others which I don wish for... I ought to be more decisive and truthful to myself...

@ work, I am still there clearing my pending stuffs... Felt that I alway like to use other faults as a punishment upon myself... easliy affect by them.

I see thier faults which irritate me... Once being irriated, the feeling is super bad... Was feeling very tired, until I saw a SMS coming in of a cute knocking head key chain photo, which cheer me up.

After work, though I say that I am tired... I still had the "strength" to shop around... Left office at 1830, reach BB @ abt 1915, shop till 2030+... When I am not feeling too good, I like to shop at the supermarket and to buy some tidbits. Surprisely, I managed to come out empty-handed today...

I am jus feeling tired... How to cheer myself up? The cute stuffs on my desk slowly is losing their effects... Perhaps, I need somebody or some thing to inspire me and cheer me up...

Wednesday - 08.02.06

CNY Lunch with my Department

Went Regent Hotel for CNY Lunch with my department, in total of 9 person, took 3 cab there... Phew~ they know that I am scared of my big boss, kept asking my big boss to sit beside me... N he asked, y leh? Unless U like "OLD man", Pat "Young man" siting beside you leh... Haha... so funny... I was jus there laughing...

During this laugh, we had a lot of laughters from the conversation... Slowly, I am overcoming the fear that I had... When I am back home, I looked at the video that I took while they lao1 yu2 sheng1, don noe y, I felt quite delighted to have them around... Watever it is, thankful for it...

I don noe how long I can stay on with the company... When my friend asked me wat am I working as, I am happy to say that I worked as a Data Analyst. Let me treasure my time there... though there R tough moments that make my emotions up and down... Less grumbles, and enjoy the moment...

Movie - Zodiac. The Race Begins...

In the evening went for a movie with the gals, EM, WX and his BF. Checked the places for this movie, in the end, we decide on Jurong East, as that is the onli nearer place with the movie. On Tuesday, when I think of wed movie session, I am delighted.

After work, garthering with closed one, with friends would make me happy. Thankful with them around, that my dull days would be more colourful. No matter how tired I am, I would still look forward to it...

The movie animation was quite nice. The Chinese standard is good, with quite a lot of cheng1 yu3, there is room for improvement for the pace... if it was a bit faster, I would really enjoy it. For a start, this result is not too bad. Looking forward to great animation work in the near future.

I was feeling quite tired while watching the movie. From siting str to couching all the way down.. till I got so uncomfortable that I sit up str again... Went home after that and slept at 2200++. That was early...

CNY - Day 8 With Friends - KTV

When KTV with Fannie, Emily and her batch of IA friends for KTV. Cant managed to kai1 sheng1 while singing n sang till later no voice... This grp of friends were real funny ah had a great laugh... From 1400, we sang till 1800, later off to Dinner n since it was still early, we set off to He2 Pan4 for photos...

While on the way to he1 Pan4 was feeling a bit of sleepy... haha... Reached there n me was surprised to see so many ppl there... There were a lot of stalls selling food... We walked quite a long distance b4 we get to the area with 12 shen1 xiao4. There were not many decorations this year... After taking some photos there, it began to rain. Lucky that it does not last long...

The feeling together with these friends was different. They were interesting n kind hearted ppl... Although did not know them for long, I felt safe and and felt a sense of security with them around... All jokes are harmless jokes and for laugh. =] This dan1 chun3 feeling was great. Wishing them to still remain the way they were now after stepping into the society for work...

How I wish this day not to end... It is still coming to an end. From this day onward, it would be serious time for work, and to buck up at work... Getting serious le... haha... Celebration of CNY coming to an end. hmmp...

Mai4 Ya2 Tang2

Together with the mai4 ya2 tang2. Yummy...

E whole grp of friends

Cai1 Sheng3 and the 3 gals. Say Cheese.

CNY - Day 7

The day hat I had been looking forward to since I started work is finally here! Reached Seng Kang MRT station, on the way to 4th Auntie's house, saw Mr. Bean's shop, and stopped over to buy the Pearly Pearly Soya Milk. I thought that they did not sell he ice-cream. Till I ordered then I saw... Happily drinking, chewing on the pearls... Sometime have a small craving, can also brighten up one's day...

Was there watching tv while listening to the conversation of my relatives... My grandma's talked about how she watched us grow up... And how my cousin when young did not want to go home, but to stay at ah ma's house still during Saturday n Sunday. Later talked abt my brother... that she was so sad when my grown up brother went, but when my grandma offered him drinks or food, he all don wan...

This was the first time that I overheard what my grandma was sad about personally... I really didnt realise that such small actions would make her sad... I was silent for a moment, though was watching tv... I don noe how many times I had made her sad, as when she often me drinks, I also nv take... Another worries of my grandma was abt marriage... Talking from uncles, to aunties... to us cousins... Heard that n I wish to stunned away... Thanks to all my protection shield infront... They might be feeling more stressful...

We sat at 4th Auntie's house till 8pm++... Haha... Intially, I thought that they had forgoten about the time. Later with 2nd Auntie and my mum, we took mrt home. While my si4 yi3 tun1 fetched the others back to grandma's house.

The cute doggie...

Front View. Charmada. One of my fav Character with the fir buring on it's tail. Followed by a series of artistic photos taken by my cousin...

Turn Left...

Back view.

Turn right..

Wats on the tail? Is the toy that ben given this toy... haha...

Gong1 Xi3 Fa1 Cai2!

Lonely me infront of computer

Here I am infront of the computer... One of my favourite TV Show, Fu1 Lu2 Shuo4 had ended... After work, reached home, me was there switching channels to watch while eating my dinner... Came in internet... but there's nobody to chat with in msn.

@ work, me was feeling kind of restless n bored... as I was there rushing for stuffs... Finally I finished them yesterday. The automation of reports... After that, there were still pending reports data to upload... Was alway rushing... thus, kind of tired... hmmp... many moment I was silent by my desk, rushing/clearing my stuffs...

Was there clearing my emails, and I realised that during this period, there were actually quite a lot of issues at work... I was included in the email loop, n I noe abt them. Nv to realised that in total, all would add up to so many... Haha... good, is that I got more stuffs to learn n understand. And that is someth new at work... but when would I even have the time?

After 3 days at work, was gald that today is a Friday. Tom, is a Saturday, the day that I am looking forward to... House visit again! This time to my 4th Auntie house, which mean another relax day for me. =] N Sunday to KTV with my friends... Guess, I am still in holiday mood...

Lot of things for me to learn... and to improve my attitude at work, and not to stun away or behave so wood when I see big boss... Actually, I don felt good when the fear inside me is still there... Alway maintaining a distance... Like that, how would I get to know the others better? Which would also mean I am not getting any closer to my new year resolution le.

Hmmp hmmp.. let see how long I would take to overcome these silly habit of mine. Yap, there are all sort of situation, thus, we could improve ourself and make an effort to change the situation into a better one. Gan-Ba-Te.

Fu1 Lu4 Shou4

CNY - Day3

As usual, I woke up automatically at 0900. Wanted to sleep more and laze in bed... but when I think of the things that I got to do... I faster wake up and to go clean up. Later, to unpacked all my bags that are lying around in my room... The bags that I took for Day 1 and Day 2. Also, to tidy up the accessories on my desk...

Next, to hang my washed clothes which were lying on my bed.. and lastly to count my hong bao money... The hong bao had been lying there on my desk since new year eve. Suddendly , I remembered, oh no... like the ping1 an2 hong bao for me, I also took out the money... oh no, how careless of me...

I looked thr all the hong bao wrappers again n again to recall which hong bao wrapper it was. Thinking, if I could recognise it, I would put one $2 inside n keep it... but, up to no valid... I could not find it... Faster called my friend to ask her how does the hong bao looked like...

Kind of sad... so careless... so blur... After my friend describe to me, I still can't find it. Later to dig inside my wallet... surprise! It was nicely folded and kept inside one of the slot. Hahaha.... I recalled, New Year Day1, I was here happily putting stuffs in my new wallet, and I folded this hong bao and put it in as well... Felt delighted when I saw it. =] Haha... Such Blur Queen.

After unpacking and packing all stuffs, switched on my labtop, wanting to continue on my pending work... Gald that on new year eve, I managed to finished almost 80%... Later, I heard my dad laughing in the living room... oh... my big uncle reached. haha... After a few mouse click on my laptop here n there, my grandma n aunties came.

Nice timing... This year they were quite early. Good that I could let my mind be free from work... else, me when work, I would really worked thr it one... That explained why I felt very tired after a day of sitting down there at work... cos I use too much eyes and brain le... Now, I could jus temporary throw them away...

Was showing my cousins the photos n videos that we took long time ago... were there laughing... As some r really funny... Later we were here playing computer games... The other cousins and aunties came shortly... Summer was here as well... took photos with her... N my cousin jokingly said, next time must charge us for that... haha...

5th auntie tricked Summer that the hook on my wall is ga1 ga2.. then later Summer kept wanting to play with it... Had a hard time playing with her over the ga1 ga2. haha... 4th auntie carried her to play with the hook till no strength alr... n we were there laughing...

Later HC and me went out for our usual crave... to take photos.! We took photos at the garden outside my neighbour's house. Beautiful area for taking photos... We behaved till so serectly, scared that later they are at home, then saw us taking photos outside their hse. Faster took, faster come back.. Jus nice, no more batt for HC's camera.

So fast, it was alr 1845++... Intially, I thought it is jus 1700 something... The time past by fast... This 3rd day, my feeling was not as good as last two days... Hmmp... A working day tom. How nice, if this holiday was longer... But, to think of it, 3 days of holidays, I enjoyed myself for 2 days, that it really very good le. If the holidays was longer, perhaps, the feeling would not be as good.

No matter what, still have to move forward n face the ture that this holiday is ending. Time for work the next day. Did not continue with my work in the late evening... as I don noe why I felt kind of tired... After helpin out in a bit of cleaning up, lye on bed and fall into sleep... till my mum wake me up, for me to use the toliet. After that off I dozed off to sleep.

Overall, for this CNY, was quite an enjoyable one for me... which I really throw aside the unnecessary stuffs like work stuffs... to enjoy the time during this holiday season. B4 that saw that there were quite a lot of nice shows on tv, but I had not really sit down to watch thr one single show. Also, I did not ate or drink much... To recall back, most of time was together with my cousins n relatives, chatting, taking photos, playing... nice garthering! =]